End of Evagelion: Alternate Ending
by Thaeonblade
Summary: After narrowly winning against all odds, you'd think that theres nothing for the Eva pilots to fear. But as you'll soon see, there's a very good reason why some species dont co-inhabit the same era. Hikari/Toji, bit of Hyuuga/Misato; crossover one-shot


**Copyright: I do not own Evangelion or Land Before Time**

The End of Evangelion: Alternate Ending

You could say that Seele's plans had been disrupted quite a bit. The Eva series had been unexpectantly slaughtered by the combined strength of Eva units 02, 03, and 05 despite the absence of unit 01. This resent turn of events forced the council represented by stone monlithsto result to an ultimately desperate measure to ensure the Third Impact began in their favor.

Seele 08: Curse those Evangelion!!"

Seele 07: Calm yourself, did you expect any less from Ikari?"

Seele 04: It is no concern, we still have one final tool in our possession..."

Seele 09: Must we truly resort to using....IT!?!?"

Seele 12: Unfortunately yes."

Seele 10: But it is completely unstable!!! It may very turn on us and-" The tenth member silenced himself to keep from imagining the sheer horror of having their desperate measure turn on them. Hell, the members of Seele could barely forget when they first found this tool after the Second Impact....mostly because a good 4/5's of the team that recovered the tool met with an extremely gruesome end that would make the second child's mindrape look like a headache. But, with events quickly flying out of Seele's control, they knew that they would have to take their chances...

Seele 05: Death by the judgement of our fellow man or death by the jaws of terror that should never had been revived.."

Seele 04: Or the removal of all obstructing our path to Instrumentality.."

Seele 01: Then let it be so..."

all Seele members: UNLEASH THE BEAST FROM THE PLAIN BEFORE TIME!!!

....

For Misato Kasaragi, life couldnt be anymore confusing yet releving at the same time. Not only did Misato manage to unexplainingly cheat death by mortal gunshot wound and explosion, or that she had managed to fight her way through all of the JSSDF soldiers to return to NERV's central dogma despite her very painful injuries, but all three of the current four units had managed to fight off the UN forces and the Eva series in a display of brutal teamwork. Asuka had come out of her comotose just in time to completely overwhelm the surprised UN forces and actually surprised Misato as an able team member along with Toji Suzahara in Eva unit 03 and Hikari Hokari in unit 05. When the Eva Series deployed upon Geofront, the second, fourth, and sixth children managed to completely and rather graphically tear the twelve Mass-Produced Evas apart thanks to somehow growing internal S2 Organs in each of their Evas. When the battle was five minutes done, the remaining members of Nerv shouted at the top of their lungs in ecstasic joy of their victory against all odds.

Hyuuga: The Eva Series has been neutralized! No readings from their S2 organs can be seen!"

Aoaba: All remaining UN forces are now pulling out of the GeoFront!! Better run you bastards!!!"

Misato: I dont believe it...what is the status on all Units!?"

Ibuki: Unit 01 is still trapped in its hanger, but otherwise green. Units 02 and 03 have sustained minor damage to forearms and legs while Unit 05 has moderate damage in the right shoulder."

Misato: That's the best news that I've heard all day...now someone find me a doctor before I bleed to death..."

Hyuuga: Misato? If your not doing anything, do you wanna bone tonight?"

Misato: Oh why the hell not?!" With that, celebration coupled with beer, Barry White, and Jello shots instantly broke out in Central Dogma despite all of the carnage left by the horribly slain dead. Since no one wanted to find any cups, the survivors simply drunk out of the plentiful bottles and one shouldnt be surprised if R-rated activities broke out within the first ten minutes.

..........

Meanwhile, the pilot of Evangelion unit 05 sat back in her cockpit and breathed in well-earned relief on the field breathed a sign of relief when all remaining enemy forces were indicated in full withdraw. Despite the circumstances, Hikari never wanted to be pit in such a ruthless battle again, espescially against other humans. Her shoulder was still hurting from when an MP Eva tried to rip off her Eva's arm but she would live through it.

Hikari: It's over...Suzahara? Does this mean that the fighting is over?"

Toji: Yep, unless these ugly sons of bitchs can piece themselves back together, the fighting is over..."

Asuka: Damn shame if you ask me!! These winged pieces of shit died to fast!! At least we didnt need wussy Shinji to save us...bakka!!!"

Toji: Where the hell is that emo kid?!"

Asuka: Probably still crying over killing the last angel, sissy..."

Hikari: But werent you the one in-"

Asuka: Yeah! But I'm out of it now!!" But just then, Eva unit 05's radar picked up an airbourne object heading their way. Hikari turned to look in the radar's direction and saw a large cargo plane with an even larger piece of cargo carried by its underbelly headed towards them. The thing about the plane that was odd however was that it was flying erractically as if the pilot never heard of the phrase: dont drink and drive". Then Hikari noticed that it this was due to the violent shaking of the plane's cargo. Suddenly, a piece of the plane's hull violently seemed to have been blown off from the inside and caused the plane to crash several miles from where unit 02 stood over half of an MP eva.

Hikari: There might be survivors! We should help them.."

Toji: Yeah, but watch it, this might be another trick by those American bastards."

Asuka: I'm going in, back me up lovebirds!" As true as Asuka may have been, it still annoyed Hikari to be called a lovebird with Toji. Still, she smiled as she moved unit 05 to follow unit 03 who remained several feet from unit 02 armed with a mid-range gatling gun that had more than proven itself in all of the battles following Bardiel. Hikari didnt particularly like how Asuka moved in so carelessly into the crash sight with only her combat knife, but since she was the most experienced on the field, the novice eva pilot simply trusted that she knew what she was doing.

Toji: See anything?"

Asuka: No, just a bunch of wreakage and- WHAT THE-" A frantic scream filled their speakers as Unit 02 was seen staggering back from the smoke filled crash site. Horror struck her eyes as she saw blood spray from the socket where Unit 02's arm should be.

Hikari: ASUKA, WHAT HAPPENED!!!"

Asuka: It hurts!!! It bit off my arm!!!"

Hikari: Toji!! We need to help Asuka!!" But before Toji or Hikari could move, both evas stopped dead when they saw Asuka's attacker emerge from the wreakage. A large reptilian creature with tiny three taloned claws and a massive head with rows of blood stained razor sharp teeth roared with a sound that rivaled that of thunder and mightily stomped out of the wreakage.. Hikari could barely believe what she was seeing, an actual-

Toji: SHARPTOOTH!!!!" Unit 03 immediately started to unload its rounds as Toji uncontrollably screamed the loudest scream that Hikari had ever heard. The Carnivous T-Rex angrerily staggered back as it was pelted by thousands of rounds from Unit 03's gun. Hikari had Unit 05 draw out the retractible sword out of its shoulder and extended the blade to protect Toji if necessary. But based on how Asuka was started to recover with one arm, Hikari didnt think that it was necessary.

Asuka: THAT BASTARDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!" Heedless of Toji's barrage, Unit 02 charged at the besieged T-Rex and dug its combat knife into the side of its neck and twistedly carved out a good chunk of the predator's neck. It seemed that all three pilots breathed in relief as the carnivore slumped to the ground and seemed to wallow in a pool of its own blood. As the smoke settled, Unit 02 found its discarded arm and preceeded to use it like a blunt object to beat the creature's body.

Hikari: That...was the scariest five minutes of my life..."

Toji: That was even worse than when my unit was possessed by that angel..."

Asuka: Stupid little bakka!! I hope that you like this arm!!! It's the last thing that you'll be smelling for a long time!!!" Unit 02 slammed its arm into the creature's head one last time and then turned away. But thats when it happened. Hikari didnt even blink when she saw the t-rex snap to life and clamp its jaws onto the back of Unit 02's head. Hikari instantly sprung into action and prepared to stab the monster, but Sharptooth's closed right eye suddenly opened and the creature temporarily released its jaw to swing its head into Unit 05 and send Hikari flying into the ground. Unable to quickly cope with her eva's pain due to inexperience and unable to recieve a clear shot, Toji only watch as the Sharptooth savageling flung Unit 02 all over the place while Asuka continued to painfully scream. Then, in complete unison with Asuka's gradual quieting, the beast ripped Unit 02's head from it's socket and blood gratifully rushed out of the gash while the Sharptooth heartilly devoured its catch.

Hikari: It...killed...Asuka..."

Toji: Its not going to us!!!" Unit 03 raised its gun to continue its barrage of bullets, but the Sharptooth had learned its lesson from last time and roared in challenge of Toji. Toji fired a few shots, but the Sharptooth unbelieveibly leapt into the air and used its legs to pound Unit 03 into the ground, causing Toji to drop his gattling gun. Unit 03 desparately used both of its arms to hold off the Sharptooth's jaws of death, but the sharptooth simply pulled back and snapped off Unit 03's forearm in one motion.

...............

Meanwhile, back in Central Dogma, the celebrations were soundly interrupted by the very last moments of the second child before her Unit's head was torn off.

half-naked Ibuki: Oh GOD!!! Unit 02 is flatlined!!!"

lipsticked covered Hyuuga: Ah Shit!!! New target is engaging Unit 03 and....Shit!!!"

bandage covered, shirt ripped Misato: What is it? Another angel!?!"

drunk Aoaba: blue, red, green, orange, yellow.........A RAINBOW!!!!!!"

Misato: Where's Ritsoko when you need her?"

Ritsoko: "Lying dead in LCL pool, courtisy of Gendo Ikari"

Misato: Try to contact the commander!! And hows the battle up there?"

Ibuki: OH GOD!!!! Unit 03's getting disected!!!"

Hyuuga: Unit 05's moving in and- Shit!! AT fields are useless!!!! Its going straight through them!!!"

Misato: What the hell are we dealing with!?!?"

Hyuuga: Unit 01's entered the fray and is holding off the target!!! Unit 05 is clearing Unit 03 from the crashsite!!"

Misato: Good job Emo Kid!!!" But the optimism didnt last long as the sound of primal roaring filled the audio followed by Shinji screaming like a girl and the sound of flesh being ripped and grinded by teeth. Not a sound could be heard when Unit 01 also flatlined and Unit 03 soon after. The survivors of Nerv instantly knew that they were screwed and reached into the nearby drawers for the pistols stored such an occasion.

Misato: Does everyone have their suicide pistols ready?"

Hyuuga: Yep...cant believe that we're actually gonna use these things!"

Ibuki: I dont wanna go to hell!! But I dont want that thing to...get me!!!"

Misato: Personally, I'd take deflowing Shinji over this anyday, but fuck it! Lets just die!!" Everyone pulled the trigger simuetaniously but only one distant shot could be heard. The survivors of Nerv checked their clips to find that their ammo had been sabotaged...a cruel irony really. But just as Misato started to look for another means to take the easy way out, a hologram of Commander Ikari formed in the control center. Misato instantly knew that this wasnt good news...

Ikari: Hello, if you are seeing this message, then it means all of you have obviously tried to commit suicide in the face of unbearable circumstances."

Misato: Damn right!!"

Ikari: Therefore, I took the liberty of rendering all designated suicide pistols useless, except for mine, which you've probably heard by now...so, fuck you and have a good day." the hologram cruelly smiled as it dissapated while a dumbfound Misato nearly choked on her own breath. And the constant shaking heard from the steps of the Sharptooth as it came closer to Central Dogma didnt make things any better..."

Misato: Life really is a bitch..."

The sharptooth then preceeded to tear apart Nerv HQ, mercilessly killing everyone inside and in doing so, ate Gendo's body, Rei, and Lillith and with a mighty roar iniated a third impact that brought back the carnivorous dinosaurs and turned the Age of Man into a Living Hell. Sharptooth meanwhile, became immortal(well, more immortal than he was) and ruled the earth as The Savage King once again with Hikari as his seductively dressed pet.

THE END

* * *

_After watching the scene from Land Before Time and noticing strong similarities between the Sharptooth and the Evangelions, I knew that I had to make a fanfic of this. I mean, I could actually picture that menacing beast tearing the crap out of the Eva's despite how strong we all know they are...Still, I know that this is mostly a dark humor shot and very ironic when you think about it.._

_So what did you think? Please Review and place all thoughts along with them..constructive critisism always helps._


End file.
